Did you learn anything?

Well congratulations are in order! You're almost done with your last week of high school, and almost done with the last lesson of my blog. I hope your a pro by now! I think we should all be proud because the word smart aleck is in the oxford dictionary (http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/smart-aleck)

If you're still having trouble being a smart aleck, just remember that it's the first funny comment that comes to mind. Well that's funny to you anyway. It's okay, were not all born comedians, and I forgive you for that. It's not your fault. It's your parents, so blame them....  (Just kidding don't blame your parents, they love you and they always think their funny, so we fake laugh to make them happy because they love us.) Being a smart aleck is always a fun way to "Pump up the party" and makes you a very enjoy able person. Most people like to be around people who are funny and make others laugh. And that's the smart alecks goal in life, to make others happy by the way they think, and express their sassy thoughts.

I know it's a scary thing to go out there into this sassy world we live in, and not have my help anymore. But trust me if you've followed all my do's and don'ts you'll do just fine! Being a Smart Aleck is a hard job, it requires lots of creative thinking, and lots of watching all the funny t.v. shows that make you laugh with all their creative come backs. Now I want you to take your cap and throw it up into the air because we did it!!! (Just remember when you're throwing that cap up in the air not to hit me in the face! I'm short and I really don't like getting hit in the face!)

Best of luck to you and your smart aleck career!
A very teary good bye,
-Your smarty pants coach....

When you should NEVER EVER be a smart alec!

Some of you may think it's okay to be a smarty fart all the time, as much as I wish this was true, it's not. Believe it or it there are times when being a smart alec just shouldn't happen. (I know it sucks!)

-You probably shouldn't be a smart alec around people who don't quite know you yet. If the first things that comes out of your mouth around them that there shirt looks like th printing machine blow up. Odds are they will say good bye right there.

-You should never be a smart alec at a funeral, people are sad and grieving, so just NO!

-Don't be one while at a job interview! Unless you don't want the job, then talk away.

- Don't be one in court, that's a big "No-No". Odds are that you want the judge and jury to rule in your favor so just do what your lawyer asks of you.

-Try your best not to be one while in school around teachers. Some teachers don't mind, and will go along with it. But some have a really short temper and don't enjoy our wonderful gift as much as others do.

-Don't be one at work unless your a comedian and know people will laugh at your smart alec ways. I'm sure if your boss caught to you asking the customer if they really wanted to up grade their meal to the large size, you might be out of a job.

- And don't be one if you're being pulled over.

Being a smart alec is a beautiful, and bountiful gift, but it shouldn't be used at all times of the day. Some people find it annoying (can you believe that?) Just remember to be safe with your words, and review what your going to say before it comes out of your mouth!

Best of luck this week!
- Your smarty pants coach.

Lesson Two, finding your muse.

 When being a smart alec it's very important to find a muse. You need something that's going to get the smarty pants side of your brain rolling. It helps to have the Ifunny app, (if you don't know what this, then your missing out.) They post forty of the funniest pictures, and giffs a day just so you can spend more time on your cellular device. Whatever your muse is, please find it and use it! Like I said when you feel the smart alec comment coming on, review it in your head first just in case. (http://www.ifunny.com/)

For an example yesterday My family and I were doing yard work and my comes out and says "Why don't you let the men do they heavy lifting." and my smart alec wheels start to turn so I say, "We would have, if there was any here." every one laughed.


When you find your muse, try to find something that's creative and  funny. It's a good feeling when you make a joke and people really laugh at what you said. I hate that awkward silence when you think you say something funny, but it was only funny in your head. Well with me, and finding your muse, you shouldn't have one of those moments again! (No guarantees)  

So you want to be a "Smart Alec?"

Lesson One

Getting to know me, and your first steps. 

So you want to be a Smart Alec? Well you've come to the right blog, i wouldn't call myself a master, but i'm as good as they come. I've been a smart Alec for about five years now, and i quite enjoy my ability to slightly annoy people, confuse them, or make them laugh. And from experience, you shouldn't be one to people who get annoyed easy. 

Your key word that will help you through out your career is SARCASM:the use of irony to mock or convey contempt. And when you hear some one say something that isn't true or you can hear that little voice in your head saying something really funny,say it. And if you're a funny person, this will work in your benefit.  Now for your first challenge, try it when every you'd like and when a conversation starts out like this, i hope you'll be ready. 


"What would you like for dinner?" Say's whoever is buying

"Food" You'll say.

"Well duh, what kind of food?" 

"well duh, the kind you eat." 

After you say this, they should get a sour look on theirface. and at this point it's up to you to decide if you should continue going  with your remarks, or you can give in and tell them what you really want. 

i hope everything works out in your first mission, and you can report back here next week for your second lesson. And enjoy your new smart alec was!

Best of luck, Your smarty pants coach.